Friday, February 28, 2014

Aura Defeated Amongst Crimean Opening Moves

My mechanical doppelganger seems to have wilted under the assault of more technically gifted agents yesterday.  My regular computer returned at work with a new hard drive, power source and a very frustrated IT guy who gamely battled my aura.  Back at home, the cable guy showed up on time, pulled out his tablet and fixed the cable box inside of two minutes.  Apparently when you order new service you’re supposed to add something to the account which never happened.  Even the garage door functioned normally this morning.  My sole contribution to this entire effort was plugging the microwave back in and having it magically return to normal service. 
IT Dude Gamely Battling the Aura
Readers of this blog know that my wife’s luggage packing is something of an epic event usually requiring weeks of forethought and not an inconsiderable amount of man hours devoted to the effort.  You can then understand my delight when I heard she has completed the first phase of the exercise ahead of her return next week and dispatched the bags to Panama City. The weight limit on the commuter plane from David to Panama City was not up to the challenge represented by my wife’s luggage; five more days (intense house cleaning operations commence tomorrow). 

My hope for some warmer weather for her return but are dying on the vine, frozen by the latest invasion of polar air.  It will warm up enough to snow on Monday (yay!).  We got a light dusting last night that was seriously abused by some house shaking winds while I listened to my wife complaining about the heat in Panama.  I told her not to worry that her issues would be solved decisively in a few days.  She didn't seem overjoyed at the prospect.  I told her to enjoy the heat while she had it.

For those of us paying attention, Putin’s first moves in the Ukraine are underway.  He’s providing shelter to the ousted president and a mysteriously well armed force has seized government buildings and airports in the Crimea, part of Ukraine but heavily populated with Russians.  Any military tactician will tell you the importance of seizing airfields prior to moving a larger force in.
Pretty Well Equipped For Some Random Militia
Putin, of course, denies these are Russian forces at all, although the Russian Black Sea fleet is conveniently in the neighborhood.  Putin will continue to mollify the west who have lodged their signature move, strong verbal protests, in the face of this blatant violation of Ukrainian sovereignty.  Putin will await the inevitable Ukrainian reaction to this adventure and then move in significant forces (since he now owns the airports) to protect the ethnic Russians in the area.  The end result will see Russia controlling the Crimea and a meaty hunk of eastern Ukraine.  At that point Obama and his Eurobuddies might send a strongly worded written protest.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Aura Basks, Futuristic Jarheads and Filial Sanity

My aura of destructive influence on mechanical devices has not lost any of its potency and yesterday claimed another cable box and a garage door opener.  My doppelganger must be authorized some serious overtime to wreak this level of havoc.  The polar vortex has returned to provide some additional ambience, so I’ve got that going for me as well.

I should count myself fortunate that I happened to glance back after I pulled out of the garage yesterday morning thinking I closed the garage door.  It reached the bottom and then recoiled back up.  If I hadn’t noticed, the door and the rest of house would have been open to the Arctic temperatures all day long; I will have nightmares thinking about what that would have done to the heating oil supply.  It was a lot of fun fine tuning electric eye beams in the sub zero early morning – ahh, life in New England.

The second most important TV in the house (kitchen) went through the same death throes as the one earlier this week.  I spent more than a half hour on the phone with the cable company agent repeating the same sparking conversation from two nights ago with the same result – nothing.  She seemed really pissed that the increasingly powerful electronic pulses she was sending to the cable box were not resolving the issue.  She told me to stand back when she sent the most powerful one – I think there was some significant radiation involved.  My aura just shrugged it off and will do battle with an actual human this evening.
My Wife, The Buddy Excuser, in Panama Yesterday
A comment on how far Buddy the Wonder Pooch has wormed his way into my wife’s heart is her reaction to his evisceration of one of her beloved plants.  Her first concern was that Buddy has poisoned himself and I was directed to erect barriers to several plants that are potentially toxic.  I don’t think I’d get the same reaction if I’d been the one to kill the plant but then again, I talk back a lot more than Buddy (and haven’t licked her feet in a while).

I finished my latest foray into Christopher’s Nuttall’s military science fiction series about futuristic marines, Semper Fi.  He returns to the same characters which he started this series out with.  Those marines have established a new, democratic commonwealth to replace the fallen empire.  They’re being threatened by a vestige of the empire, an ambitious admiral who carves out an empire for herself and eyes the commonwealth as her next acquisition.  A small platoon of marines is dispatched to foment rebellion on the admiral’s home planet. 

I’ve come to appreciate Nuttall’s work as he’s an excellent guide to the human level of conflict while still keeping his plots moving along at breakneck pace.  His marines are awesome if more than exceptionally lucky.  He’s also very generous with female characters and provides them with significant kick ass ability.  Both the main villain and the hero(ine) are female and run circles around their male counterparts.  I’ll be back to Nuttall and I love finding another author to follow in one of my favorite genres.
Son and I Yesterday
Speaking of favorite genres my aura generated frustration level for the week was leavened yesterday with the weekly lunch with my son.  There’s something soul easing that can only be provided by association with close family.  He caught me up on his adventures with the MEF.  He and the MEF stay pretty busy although the MEF was felled with a cold earlier this week after chasing chocolate treats in a snow shoe race (I'm not kidding).  We’re marching inexorably towards the August altar date and will be finalizing the rehearsal dinner plans upon my wife’s return.  I’m going to have to come up with a new name for MEF is August.  MEDIL (Most Excellent Daughter in Law) is a little too ponderous.  I’ll be taking nominations.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Mechanical Aura, Canine Plant Issues and Bye Bye Tommy

I’m beginning to think I may possess an aura that is toxic to mechanical devices.  I wrote yesterday about the demise of my computer and that is only the latest in a long string of machines that recently quit on me. 
My office microwave now only works when I disconnect it and then plug it on again.  It then defaults to high and six minutes which will reduce most food to a smoking ruin if left in that long.  I now put my lunch in and hope not to be distracted when the timer hits four minutes.  We’ve had a couple close calls with me dashing across the garage trying to rescue some soon to be immolated lunch meat.

I was patting myself on the back last night about my new cable deal.  Unfortunately tone TV (and incidentally the one most important to my wife’s fascination with Spanish novellas) was flashing a message that the cable service had been disconnected.  My aura had claimed another victim.  The machine withstood the electronic blasts the cable company tried sending to reset it so I had to take some time off from work so they could come and fix the box.  I’m at the point where I don’t think it’s safe for me to be around anything mechanical –making for some nervous commuting.

This aura might extend to dogs as well because Buddy certainly blew a gasket when I got home earlier than usual.  There is a cardinal rule in the house that both he and I respect on pain of certain and gruesome death – my wife’s plants must remain inviolate.  You can understand my shock and dismay when I discovered Buddy had disemboweled a heretofore healthy plant and left the remaining roots and not a little bit of dirt strewn on the floor.  I’m guessing he had an upset stomach and couldn’t find any grass to munch on.  It could be that a devious plan to undermine my authority and stage a coup before the return of my wife.  I’m going to have to keep an eye on him. 
The Denuded Plant Back in its Pot
Date night last night (next to last dateless one) where I went to see Three Days to Kill starring Kevin Costner.  This was a Luc Besson vehicle so of course it featured a grizzled, flawed hero (Costner) surrounded by legions of bad guys in Besson’s beloved Paris.  With a typically outlandish plot I really enjoyed this action flick.  Costner plays a CIA assassin dying from cancer trying to reconnect with a teenage daughter and estranged wife while simultaneously foiling a terrorist attack by the team of the Albino and the Wolf (very Besson).
There’s a huge body count and Costner lends a very cool level of humanity to the character.  Hailee Steinfeld continues her impressive work as the confused daughter.  Amber Heard plays Costner’s diabolical CIA boss who may have a cure for his cancer (as long as he stops at critical moments to down vodka).  The drug has the side effect of immobilizing Costner just as he’s about to close with and eliminate the bad guys.  As you can see this movie was all over the place but leavened with Besson’s typical charm – a lot of fun to watch.

Obama decided to implement some deep cuts in the military which were announced yesterday.  This is nothing new, supposedly a reward for the sense of peace pervading the uninformed electorate.  It’s not really a partisan thing because Bush had planned similar cuts before skyscrapers started falling.  While this will achieve some short sighted political goals we’re definitely less well protected and there still be wolves prowling the wood line.

An Army needs to exist for the next war and the most dangerous threat, not tailored to what has just passed.   Enemies have a troublesome way of adjusting tow hat they’ve already seen.  Current strategic planning stresses the importance of light, special forces that have been so successful in Afghanistan.  These are important but not capable of meeting the most significant threat to our existence. 

A wise man (even if he is a Marine) once said the Army has to remain the chain mailed fist of American military might.  There will be some serious holes in the chain mail in the coming years and it’s not something that can be fixed overnight as trained military units take months to create.  One can only hope our future adversary is willing to give us the time to rearm before hooking and jabbing commences.

A friend, commenting on the gutting of the Army, posted a very telling passage from one of Rudyard Kipling’s best poems.  It’s a great comment on our current president’s plan to reduce the military (symbolized by the British “Tommy”) which isn’t truly appreciated until it’s needed:
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Egon Gone and Cyber Conundrums

I was sad to learn of the demise of Harold Ramis yesterday.  He was a true giant and as I remind myself of the comedies he was responsible for, that admiration achieves mythic status.  He dominated the comedy landscape of the 1980s, writing Animal House, Caddyshack, Stripes, and Ghostbusters – a truly impressive resume.  He always struck me as a genuine guy and he was certainly funny.  Bill Murray sure owes him a lot if you look at the movies listed above.  I’m going to miss Dr. Egon Spengler.
R.I.P.
Thanks for All the Laughs
Mondays are tough enough without my primary work computer crashing and burning.  I thought it was going to be a good day, a forecast snow storm finally decided to miss the area – definitely out of the norm for this winter.  My seemingly fine computer told me it needed a restart.  Being the dutiful slave I am to my work desktop I did that and it promptly took a powder – leaving me feeling pretty lost.  It’s kind of scary how dependent we’ve become on technology.  I forgot my cell phone at home one day last week and felt absolutely naked all day long.

This is the third time in the last few months that my computer has eaten its hard drive which HP has rotely provided a replacement for.  I’m no computer scientist ( J ) but the evidence would seem to indicate it’s something other than the hard drive itself is damaging the hard drive, but that’s for the IT dudes to figure out.

They came in and jury rigged a laptop that has about 70% of the capability of my deceased desktop.  I’m stunned at the unbelievable progress of software in such a short time.  The replacement computer is only two years old but the software seemed archaic since I’d become used to newer versions.  I’ll be with this older computer for the rest of the week.

The break while the computer was being set up did have a silver lining (other than getting out of working).  I’ve been meaning to call my cable TV provider for a really long time but have always managed to successfully distract myself from doing that.  Since distractions were at a minimum with my computer hors de combat I finally made the call.  You may have heard me mention that I personally own well over 1000 movies.  It therefore stands to reason that I really don’t need all the premium cable movie channels I have as well as Netflix (bit of an overkill admittedly). 

In the interest of reducing our cable bill my wife has encouraged me to call the company and remove the channels.  So with a heavy heart I was finally routed to a dynamic young lady who I was assured would assist me with jettisoning the un wanted (needed) channels.  I’m thinking we fall into a special category of customers who pay their bill on time.  After looking at our account she politely informed me that she could remove the channels and I would save $26.  She then went on to say that she noticed I was a victim of an old pricing package.  By the end of our conversation not onlyu did I retain all the movie channels but added the one I was missing, upgraded our internet access, and reduced my monthly cable bill by over $70.  Like I said – a silver lining.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Panamanian Vigilantism and Disaster Strikes at Cinema

Well, that late lamented polar vortex wasn’t as dead as we hoped and arrived in the area overnight.  On the plus side with the snow pack frozen again Buddy is free to charge around the yard on top of the snow which increases his exercise and the amount of time needed to coax him back inside.  I’m going to be very circumspect in describing weather conditions in case my wife reads the blog.  I do not want to provide any fodder for an extension of her tropical sojourn.
She had something of an adventure yesterday in Panama.  There are a lot of street thieves in Panama; something to expect when some people have literally nothing.  That doesn’t excuse these wastes of protoplasm just explains their existence.  The lowest form of these scumbags prey on the elderly such as my wife’s parents.  Their house has been hit a few times over the last few years.  One of these fine specimens ran into my wife yesterday.

She noticed a really skinny, shabbily attired young man on her parents’ front porch.  Exhibiting more courage than sense she immediately moved to confront the guy, demanding to know what he was doing there.  He was more than a little cowed by the force of her personality (know that, been there, got the t-shirt).  He mumbled something about looking for a school and beat a hasty retreat.  My wife followed him out onto the street to insure he left the area and pointed him out to the neighbors.  She’s not one to mess with, that gal (and don’t I know it!)

My Wife the Superhero
Do Not Mess With Her Parents
 I took in a movie yesterday scheduled around the weekly Sunday prep for the work week.  Pompeii, a movie about the Mount Vesuvius eruption disaster in ancient Roman times could have been a good flick, but it wasn’t.  The plot had Jon Snow from Game of Thrones teaming up with Lost’s Mr. Echo as gladiators in Pompeii’s doomed arena with the mountain percolating in the background.  They were the best thing about the movie which was really just a vehicle to demonstrate some epic 3D shots of the mountain falling on everybody.  Kit Harrington (Jon Snow) has real screen presence and has the potential to go far.  While we all know what was going to happen (hence the archeological digs) – the movie maker still managed to royally screw up the end, making the plot to that point worthless.
Disaster Filled
Unfortunately Vesuvius wasn’t the only disaster in this movie.  I don’t know how Emily Browning keeps getting female lead roles – she’s awful; I’m talking biblical level awful.  I’m guessing at this point that she must have blackmail quality evidence against some movie mogul to still get parts.

As bad as she was there was someone even worse and it really pains me to say this about Jack Bauer.  Kiefer Sutherland plays the bad guy and for some reason attempts (poorly) some kind of British accent (because we all know the ancients Romans spoke with a British accent).  Jack should stick with CTU because he’s an epic fail here.  He and Ms Browning gave Mount Vesuvius a real run for its money as the most visible and horrific disaster in the movie. 

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Cold War Redux and Sister Save

President Obama’s chaotic and disinterested foreign policy faces another challenge in Ukraine.  President Yanukovych abandoned his capitol to the protesters who have been courageously standing up to Putin’s puppet while the Russians have been distracted by the Olympics.  This will be a real test because as the world departs Russia Putin will most certainly train his attention on a nation he regards as a vassal state.
Enjoy Your Victory but Vladimir Leaves Sochii After Today - Get Ready
Putin is a cold warrior and will not hesitate to impose a new solution on the situation that the Ukrainians will not enjoy.  The Europeans have engineered this situation but Putin knows they lack the backbone for any real confrontation.  Security concerns are bone deep in the Russian psyche given their repeated victimization throughout history by invaders - Vikings, Mongols, Napoleon, and Hitler to name a few.  While it’s easy to understand the Russian need to have friendly buffer states along its border Putin will also view this as a challenge to his emergence as the new Russian Czar.  He will garner a huge amount of popular Russian support by taking a decisive step to punish a next door neighbor that is choosing to defy him.  If I had to guess I’d say we’ve sent the last of a unified Ukraine.  Obama is not up to this type situation as Putin has shown he will run circles around him.

Back home the thaw continued apace yesterday as the roads shed their icy mantle (at least for a couple days) and we are now driving on pavement again.  I chose to hang around the house and knock out a few of the minor projects any home owner is blessed (cursed) with as Buddy appointed himself bird herder.  He took serious offense that birds would choose to land in “his” back yard.  It was still incredibly lonely and continued me down the path convincing me this house is way too big for just two people.  I finished up the latest 1000 piece puzzle – so you get an idea how exciting the day was in Charlton.
Puzzle Completed
Luckily I have a slightly older (certainly not elder) sister who sensed the rampant isolation and provided a respite.  When my brother in law returned from work they both jumped n the car and took me out to dinner.  We went back to Chuck’s Steak house which has become something of a hit with us after being ignored for almost a decade.  It was a late dinner but so much fun hanging out with these remarkable people.  You can never be truly isolated with people like this in your life.
Great Companionship

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Driveway Olympics

Much to the consternation of my neighbor across the street my winter creation of a new Olympic event continued yesterday morning.  This new event involved skiing down the ice covered driveway riding a dumpster.  I thought my form was text book, to include a wild eyed glance to see if any cars were coming before my dismount in the street.  The East German judge was particularly complimentary.

Thursday night’s rain certainly reduced the snow pack but then it froze creating a perfect track for this new event.  I was sleepily putting the weekly rubbish collection out on the street when gravity asserted itself in no small measure as I started the downhill portion of my trek.  It was kind of a helpless feeling as we slid the entire length of the driveway but I’m still enough of a kid (despite a monumental level of evidence to the contrary) that I kind of enjoyed the ride; at least when I ascertained there would be no collisions on the street.
The View this Morning of the now Clear Driveway From the Point I started Sliding
The Blue Dumpster is Positioned Where we Ended up Yesterday
Nervous Neighbor's House Across the Street
My neighbor, whose front yard has already hosted my car this winter must be getting worried about his safety if he saw any of this performance; wondering when I’m going to show up in his living room coming through the front window. 

Yesterday we did finally have the thaw we’ve so desperately needed.  We have a three foot tall fake rock covering our well head in the back yard and it’s been completely under the snow for the past week.  Yesterday morning I noticed the top peeking out and when I returned after work more than half was exposed.  It’s amazing how fast the snow melts when you turn the temperature up just a few degrees.  The winter is not finished with us yet though, after this balmy weekend in the forties another polar vortex arrives for the work week, complete with a Wednesday snow storm. 
The Rock Emerges - Was Completely Under the Snow Yesterday Morning
My excellent boss hosted a celebration of the First Friday of the Week which we needed after dealing with politicians all week.  That was too much fun and was followed up with the Friday staple of Zorba’s pizza and beer.  The pink haired waitress wasn’t around but my favorite bar tender took good care of me.  I really miss having the wife around for these Friday dates (and just about everything else). 
Such a Good Show!
I reached the season finale of season 2 of House of Cards in which the deliciously evil Frank Underwood tried to finalize his evil machinations.  This show is almost too good for television because it’s so smart.  If you haven’t seen this show yet – do yourself a favor.  It will raise your contempt of Washington politics to stratospheric levels.

My wife called to complain about the heat as she continued her sewing exercises.  Mariano Rivera was in her home town hanging out with the local baseball team; unfortunately her father didn’t feel up to seeing his idol even though he was just a couple streets away.  She’s getting increasingly nervous about winter’s failure to retreat in the face of her imminent return; eleven days and counting!
Hard at Work in the Heat
 

Friday, February 21, 2014

Streak Breaking Tell All

Yesterday did not start out promisingly.  The streets were an inch deep in ice and snow as I made my way into work.  There was some forecast rain but we all know how that has gone lately.  To top off this ominous beginning of the day I had one of my least favorite activities to look forward to first thing in the morning – the monthly board meeting.

This month’s meeting wasn’t as bad as some except that it droned on and on.  I wasn’t sure why so many of the mundane things were being highlighted for the board and causing the meeting to run almost two hours instead of the usual one.  That is until the last five minutes when it was revealed that the head politician’s annual evaluation and contract review was coming up.  He had used the meeting and pelted us with his (in reality our) accomplishments for the sole purpose of self-aggrandizement; and people wonder why I complain about politicians.  Testament to the length of the board meeting was the condition of the roads.  The warm up finally arrived.  It’s telling about how bad this winter has been when temperatures in the high 30’s qualify as a heat wave.  The road had all magically melted down to the pavement in the interminable time we spent being bombarded by his (in reality our) accomplishments.
Speaking of politicians, I’m heading into the last episode of House of Cards on Netflix with incomparable Kevin Spacey.  The last few episodes have been jaw dropping and reaching the point of wonder at how low his character will go.  I’m glad I’ll have a couple of Zorba’s beers under my belt tonight when I tackle the season finale – this show is definitely not for the squeamish.
Scary Dude
I may have a heightened sense of the squeamish because I’ve been bouncing around the strange and wonderful world of Chuck Palahniuk’s mind for the last week reading his book, Tell All.  This was a tougher read than most not because of a poor plot or lacking of his usual outrageous savagery; it had all that.  Instead he wrote the book as some kind of half assed screenplay which made the narrative flow almost impossible to follow at times.

The plot involves an aging actress in the 1950’s who’s kind of a cross between Katherine Hepburn and Elizabeth Taylor.  The narrator is her personal assistant who’s molded her into the star she’s become and protects her against the world and herself.  She spends most of the book protecting her from her latest (sixth or seventh) husband.  Palahniuk highlights all the names he drops from Hollywood’s golden age but he reserves an almost animalistic rage towards Lillian Hellman. 
I’d love to know the back story of why he has such a frenzied wrath towards Ms Hellman.  She’s pilloried from beginning to the end of the book.  I enjoyed the read but I think this is Palahniuk’s weakest effort.

So the consecutive days streak of snow blowing was broken yesterday.  I did round up some of the softened ice near the top of the driveway when I got home and technically could have used the snow blower but this was a streak I really wanted to end.  My wife is getting nervous as her return date approaches and we still have a blanket of snow to welcome her back.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

New England Robo-Rain

Yesterday was supposed to be the long awaited break from the constant succession of snow storms.  It was supposed to be an afternoon of rain that would finally melt some of the snow pack that’s built up around here.  I even debated taking my own car to work instead of the four wheel drive but this winter has made me cautious if nothing else.

This caution was well spent when the forecast rain showed up as a hellacious snow storm in the afternoon. The city of Worcester wasn’t blessed with the same level of caution or they ran out of road salt because the roads were quickly covered with an inch of packed ice and snow as traffic ground to a halt.
Yesterday's "Rain" Storm
My wife often gives me a hard time about my penchant for exploring alternate routes, something I call reconnaissance (an old infantryman’s habit I never lost).  I’ve been reconning Worcester for nearly ten years now and that came in extremely handy yesterday after surveying the parking lots that used to be the main Worcester thoroughfares.  I departed work going east instead of the usual west and with some broken field running was able to reach the interstate where there was some road salt still in use.  The trip was twice the usual distance but I would probably still be sitting in traffic if I’d gone my normal way.  I was presented with 5 inches of really heavy snow on the driveway when I got home so the ritualistic snow blowing exercise has now reached seven consecutive days. 

Son and I Yesterday
The first part of the day was significantly better as my son’s busy schedule finally permitted a return to our weekly Wednesday lunch date.  In my wife’s extended absence I’ve come to depend on these for a weekly infusion of sanity into my life (something sorely needed – levels had reached a dangerous nadir). 

 My dateless date night saw me at the movie theater (huge surprise) seeing the new Robocop flick.  The original movie was something of an event when I took my very young (alright way too young) son to see it.  He doesn’t seem too damaged by this parental failure.  The new one is glossy and all CGIed up but it lacks the heart and visceral violence of the original.  There were some exciting sequences but invariably interspersed with some absolute plodding.  The resulting stop and go reaches whiplash level pain.
The new Robocop had issues covered up his Euro-accent but the rest of the cast was good.  There was a heavy handed, anti-American message in TV host Samuel L. Jackson’s character (who got in his signature M.F. with only a few seconds to spare).  I’m probably too hard on this because the original had so many fond memories, but this wasn’t nearly as good and a PG-14 Robocop is just too safe.

This winter (I’ve come to ascribe a real personality to this beast) had a surprise waiting for me when I came out of the theater.  That rain finally did show up, as the freezing variety.  I got home okay but that earlier snow blowing had created a pristine canvas for the freezing rain to create a fairly accurate representation of a luge track.  I started sliding backwards about halfway up the hill and was able to get sideways enough to stop the car before I reacquainted myself with my neighbor’s front yard again.  The contribution of most of my own remaining road salt supply finally saw the car into the garage.  Beast indeed.
My Own Personal Luge Track - Decidedly Uncool

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Snow Again – But You Already Knew That

Standard View Outside my Office Window - Yesterday's Storm
Yesterday saw yet another of the seemingly endless series of snow storms this winter.  It started right after sunrise and snowed steadily until 5pm.  It’s become almost a routine if the roads weren’t afflicted with so many flatlanders trying to drive.  Their participation made last night’s commute nearly an hour and a half. 

A truly startling turn of events awaited me when I returned home.  Instead of the forecasted 6-8 inches (which usually means 9-11 in reality at snow central AKA my house) there was only 5 inches awaiting me.  The snow blower almost snorted in derision at this meager amount before hurling it with no small amount of contempt off the driveway. 
Only 5" - a True Piece of Cake
Due to the constant succession of snow storms and cold weather I’ve used my wife’s four wheel drive car to get to work every day since I returned from Panama.  It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve seen the pavement on my street as it’s been too cold to melt the snow/ice covering it.  While it’s been a Godsend having the car so available to negotiate the icy roads I cringe when I look at it.  She (like most Panamanians) takes an inordinate amount of pride in keeping her car clean and shiny.  After three weeks of this winter – not so much; the salt has not been kind.

Definitely Hitting the Car Wash Before She Returns
My wife reported she was enjoying hanging out with her mother and somehow ended up behind the controls of her mother’s sewing machine.  This was so newsworthy that her mother snapped a picture to memorialize the event.  In one of her patented ambush moves my wife asked that I take a picture of her plants and send it to her immediately.  She doesn’t completely trust the care of her beloved flora in my less than expert hands.  I proudly sent her a picture of her bougainvilleas which are flourishing (major mystery there).  I breathed a huge sigh of relief that she hadn’t asked for a picture of the state of cleanliness in the kitchen (and the attendant heart attack it would induce) or her car.
Seamstress Wife

The Flowers Live!
Even though there was a light dusting of snow over night I rested the overworked snow blower this morning to see if the sun would melt it off during the day.  If it does that would end my daily snow blowing exercise at six consecutive days, a new record.  We’re even supposed to get some rain later today as it finally warms up.  That is, except for what a meteorologist this morning called, “those poor people in the Worcester hills” where it will be a couple inches of heavy wet snow.  Seven days and counting.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Day Completely Off

Yesterday was one of those truly rare days when I really didn’t have anything to do or planned.  This was fallout for not remembering I had the day off from work and therefore got everything done on Sunday.  I did get the snow blower out for the fifth day in a row since the ever present winds had covered the driveway again with about six inches of snow, even though not a bit fell from the ski.  My streak will continue as we’re getting another 6-8’ of the white stuff today which will make for an interesting commute home.
My Wife Conjuring in Panama
Photo Courtesy of Lauriche, Inc.
I wrote yesterday about the uncanny, long range ability my wife has to detect breaking of rules in the house.  A friend, also married to a Chiricana (my wife’s province of Chirqui), commented that he experienced similar, almost witchlike capabilities in his Chiricana.  Scary stuff, indeed, but it does keep us on the straight and narrow; well that and the ability to wield a mean machete.  Cognizant of my wife’s newly revealed abilities Buddy was much more circumspect as to his blogging position yesterday; back to the correct side of the couch.
I Hate it When He Sits at that Damned Computer
My wife did report finding a kitchen that she really liked which set off all kinds of alarms in my subconscious.  She's always jumping ahead of the process in which I gently remind her we still have to get the house built.  The most important aspect of this kitchen was the presence of Green Ubatuba granite.  She opined that if we got this the Keene Friend was sure to visit given his ubatuba fetish.
Ubatuba  Spotted in Panama
I went to see the movie, Winter’s Tale, completely appropriate given the weather we’ve been enduring.  This movie had some lofty goals but it ends up being “Downtown Abbey meets the Matrix”.  It’s hard to make a really bad movie with a cast that includes Russell Crowe, Colin Farrell, Will Smith, Eva St Marie, Jennifer Connelly and John Hurt but the director gave it a shot anyways.
The story involves the battle between good and evil with a love affair between a Victorian era couple that meets a tragic end.  The guy (Farrell) lives for another 100 years without aging so he can meet his destiny.  Farrell is really good for the first time in a long time and Crowe makes a bad ass demon but this movie just couldn’t make up its mind about what it wanted to be.  A Harlequin level boudoir romance interspaced with face splitting demons and flying horses just never gelled.  Connelly is criminally underused and the young actress playing the love interest has a serious mumbling problem.  I guess this came out as a Valentines Day date movie and they threw the demons in so the guys would have something while their dates swooned at the tragic love story but this was a clear miss.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Day Off Recognition Failure

My dotage is approaching at break neck speed if this past weekend is any indicator.  I woke up yesterday feeling a 100% better than I had in days.  I immediately launched into the variety of tasks prerequisite for work today.  I was about half way through the day before I realized that I have today off due to Presidents Day.  Like I said, getting older; I blame the absence of my social secretary for this calendar mishap.  I think as we get older life becomes more of a routine and we automatically assume days will pass as they should. 

Since I was feeling better I decided to continue my hunkered down status (after the obligatory driveway snowblowing exercise – an almost daily event).  Buddy thought the new snowfall called for one of our back yard adventures where I try to escape as he hunts me down mercilessly.  I wasn’t going to hazard my recovery (and the ire of wife and sisters) so he had to do his snow bounding solitarily.  He hates it when I sit down to write in this blog, just jumps up on the couch and looks P.O’d (he’s doing it now).  I snapped the picture below yesterday while I was writing.
Dad, I'm Bored
My wife’s radar for inappropriate domestic behavior is still in complete working order and has lost none of it’s long range detection capability or potency.  In one of our phone conversations yesterday she asked me, completely out of the blue, if Buddy was sitting on the couch (kind of scary that woman, at times).  Buddy is allowed on the couch but only in my designated seat.  He’s taken my wife’s absence as license to push the envelope.  He has a rather large awakening due in early March.  I fully expect a rather stern admonishment when she sees this picture (this is part of my campaign for her to come home by convincing her that we need her supervision again - standards are slipping without her – one must think strategically). 

I spent a good deal of time in the kitchen yesterday and achieved a new first.  I prepared a pot roast without setting off the house smoke alarms (and they said it couldn’t be done).  I’m getting pretty good at these things as I conduct experiments to learn if I can ever get sick of constantly eating pot roast (not so far – I’ll keep you advised).
I did spend a good deal of time watching the Winter Olympics yesterday.  Ice Dancing just wasn’t doing it for me although the announcer (a former skater named Weir, I think) got exceedingly excited about it.  I loved watching the cross country skiers.  These guys are just flat out studs; great athletes giving their all over a grueling course.  They don’t get the recognition world wide that the pampered buffoons of most major sports but they’re certainly worthy of it.  Apparently there are some Norwegian ski waxers in real trouble – they take the sport a lot more seriously in the fiords.  I really like this glimpse, every four years, into the neglected sports (where have you gone Wide World of Sports – thrill of victory and agony of defeat, don’t you know).
Class Act
Finally a big story out of Red Sox spring training where one of those pampered high profile athletes I was writing about above elevated himself.  Ryan Dempster, an aging but still effective pitcher, decided to sit out the year to spend more time with his family and because he couldn’t perform at the level he wanted due to some nagging injuries.  This is notable because all he had to do was show up and go on the disabled list to collect more than 13 million dollars in salary.  He chose to be honest, forgo the money and that tells you what kind of man he is, I guess there still are major sports stars to be admired.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Harryhousen Hunker Down in the Snow Globe

The head cold set up for some serious work yesterday and I was under strict orders from my Panamanian doctor to get some rest.  I’m probably one of the worst patients in the world.  I’ve always taken the tact (well at least since I joined the Army) that you won’t feel as miserable if you refuse to acknowledge that you’re sick – don’t give in to the inclination to take it easy.  This has always driven my wife, my sisters, and my mother (well maybe not my mother) a little crazy as they try to get me to take better care of myself.

After a run to grocery store to stock up for the week I decided I needed to start heeding some advice.  I wimped out of traveling down to Rhode Island for a birthday celebration and accompanying Irish bar sojourn.  This at least avoided a confrontation with my brother in law’s sister who probably would have tried to seize my camera if not employ assassins. 
The Snow Globe Yesterday
My decision was aided by yet another snow storm that started in earnest around noon time.  I’ve written before about sitting in my family room during a snow storm.  Since there are windows on three sides it’s really like sitting in the middle of a snow globe.  After the past couple weeks I’m feeling considerably less poetic about the beauty of snow. 

I spent the afternoon pursuing a nostalgic walk through movies I enjoyed as a very young child on many a similar snowbound Saturday afternoon sitting in the TV Room of the house I grew up in.  I received a series of movies for Christmas featuring the work of Ray Harryhousen, one of the pioneers of stop action special effects in the movies. 
The Harryhousen Black and White Trifecta
The effects cannot compare with today’s CGI effects but it was a nice walk down memory lane as I spent a Saturday afternoon with three black and white movies and then topped it off with arguably his best work and first one in color  – Jason and the Argonauts.  I don’t think there’s a single boy from my generation who didn’t love this movie.  Seeing the giant brass man, the seven headed hydra, and the army of skeletons was like visiting old friends.
Jason in the Boneyard
It was interesting to see many of the places I’ve lived or worked in captured in their 1950’s incarnations.  Strange to see a series of buildings on either side of the reflecting pool leading up to the Lincoln Memorial, the pentagon, as well as some familiar sights from San Francisco.  The films were made in the late 1950’s one right after the other.  Funny to see the death ray from one movie used as a light fixture in the movie made the next year.

The biggest treat of a very long day on the couch though was the return of the Netflix series House of Cards starring Kevin Spacey.  The first episode was one of the best things I’ve seen on television in a long time.  Spacey plays an exquisitely evil congressmen (kind off redundant there) who’s about to be sworn in as vice president.  There are a couple of really stunning moments as a major character is offed in startling fashion.
One of the coolest things about the series in Spacey taking breaks at times, a la Richard III, and speaking directly to the audience.  I though they had abandoned that modus operandi until nearly the end when he looks into the camera and says, “You didn’t think I’d forgotten about you, did you.” And then ends his remarks with “welcome back”.  It was such a cool moment. 

I woke up this morning feeling remarkably better; not that I’ll continue to take my legion of caretakers’ advice any more seriously.  I had yet another date with the driveway this morning.  We only got about six inches of snow but the winds howled all night.  Since it was a light snow it created some interesting patterns (at least until Buddy arrived) that reminded me of the sand I’d seen in deserts from Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait (see photos below).  One side of the driveway had drifts well over two feet tall while the other was barely covered. Panama, oh Panama!